NIGHT WALKER

I went to the beach this weekend. Twice. I know, outrageous! Could it possibly be true, the night walker ventured out into the daylight clad in a two piece voluntarily stepping foot onto… SAND?!? Yip, I did, it is all true and I have witnesses to that effect. Thunder and Pint Size where both there and they can vouch for me… sort of… well maybe… kind of… a version of me was there…

You see, in my Craziiland where good ideas reside and crazii ideas actually happen I suggested the beach without really thinking the whole process through. Night walker, on the beach, bikini, blinding light, mass exodus, many ambulances, jail sentence for indecent reflective blinding etc etc. I think you get the point. So in a moment of wild panic “OMG, I’ve now suggested the beach and actually have to go, but how do I go without donning a long sleeve shirt and jeans and not looking like a complete Dutch Tourist…” I had an epiphany *PING* Spray Tan. Yes my lovely friends, this paler than pale redhead went from vanilla with choclate sprinkles to camel leather in a matter of minutes. Ask Thunder, she has lots of comments on the matter…

This it how the process went. Arrive at salon on time for transformation:

Spray Tan Angel: Hi Crazii, why don’t you hop into the shower and I’ll see you when you’re done.
Me: Sure…
(Ummm… water not getting warm, do you think you’re supposed to shower in artic temperature water, maybe it opens the pores)
Me: eek, wow, eish this is cold, right, you can do it, go!
STA: Crazii, you okay in there?
Me: Fine, just exfoliating (and freezing my ass off, WTF, why am I doing this again… right, jail sentence)
STA: Crazii, you done?
Me: (In voice 30 decibels higher than normal) Yes, on, grrrr, my, grrrr, way, grrr, out.
STA: Crazii, what on earth, why are you so cold?
Me: Shower… has… no…warm…tap…thought…it…was…all…part…of…magic…transformation.
STA: Crazii, it’s a mixer, left is warm, right is cold.
Me: Right…

Anyway, shower episode out of the way, magic transformation begins:

STA: So, what function are you going to?
Me: Function, no function, beach.
STA: You’re going to the beach?
Me: Yes…
STA: So why are you getting a spray on tan when you’re going to the place that will give you one naturally.
Me: Ah, you see, I have a theory. If I go to the beach tanned, I don’t blind anybody. While I’m saving the world from future blindness I’m getting a real tan under my fake tan. So when I get home and shower off fake tan, I have real tan left.
STA: Crazii, you do realize that you’re a night walker, night walkers don’t tan.
Me: I’m stripping you of you Spray Tan Angel status… pfft Thunder stealer!

Needless to say, I am back to night walker status with only a few hundred million more chocolate sprinkles! But still desperately set on hitting the sand again!