PERSONAL BESTS

I had a weekend of personal bests this last weekend. Had my personal best party with Thunder in a long long time. Had my personal best hangover because of Thunder in a seriously long time, and ran my personal best half marathon!

Let’s start with the half marathon, easier to remember and doesn’t have the word jaegermeister in the story, anywhere! It does however involve waking up at 4:30am to don running kit, sun cream and my new little babies that are my Redbull, because they give me wings! Yes, I’m talking about my pink and silver speed racers fondly known to the average human as running shoes! I love those babies. Anyway, up at the crack of sparrows to drive to Somerset West to run. Yes, crazy, I know. Thrilling and fun for the average runner (I’m officially allowed to be called a full blown runner now because I’ve done a marathon, it’s all very exciting), but seriously loopy to the average person! Lourensford Wine Estate here I come. With brand new white running shoes. To run in amongst the Winelands. On gravel and sand. Over water and mud… Can you see where I’m going with this??? My poor little speed racers were so upset their bright lustre was being destroyed with every pounding step that they flew to the finish in order to get home and cleaned! So there you have it, personal best on a trail run because my takkies are vain!

Onto the party… Wow, now there’s a story that involves lots of jaegermeister, zero flat shoes at all and a hellavu lot of bum shaking! It all started with the beach. I know, again… I think I might be addicted. But that’s another story. So I’m on the beach with the GBF and Thunder and we’re musing about the evening’s plans. Beach gets boring and we decide to move the musing to my house where there are lots of bubbles, which always assists in the creative process! 3 bottles of bubbles later and Thunder and I know exactly what we want to do… dance! 1 x call to Rikki’s, 1 x trip to Caprice and 1 x seriously amazing night! Now for all of you who know me, I’m not a Caprice fan. And that’s putting in mildly. But considering which shoes I was wearing and that I was a least a head taller than all the gorgeous blonds in the place, I put my insecurites behind me and toasted them away with many much loved jaegerbombs! Cheers Thunder! One small walk down the strip to St Yves (Old Ignite) and we were bum shaking until we weren’t allowed to bum shake anymore!

Sunday morning and OMG… somebody get us a cream soda, stat!

NIGHT WALKER

I went to the beach this weekend. Twice. I know, outrageous! Could it possibly be true, the night walker ventured out into the daylight clad in a two piece voluntarily stepping foot onto… SAND?!? Yip, I did, it is all true and I have witnesses to that effect. Thunder and Pint Size where both there and they can vouch for me… sort of… well maybe… kind of… a version of me was there…

You see, in my Craziiland where good ideas reside and crazii ideas actually happen I suggested the beach without really thinking the whole process through. Night walker, on the beach, bikini, blinding light, mass exodus, many ambulances, jail sentence for indecent reflective blinding etc etc. I think you get the point. So in a moment of wild panic “OMG, I’ve now suggested the beach and actually have to go, but how do I go without donning a long sleeve shirt and jeans and not looking like a complete Dutch Tourist…” I had an epiphany *PING* Spray Tan. Yes my lovely friends, this paler than pale redhead went from vanilla with choclate sprinkles to camel leather in a matter of minutes. Ask Thunder, she has lots of comments on the matter…

This it how the process went. Arrive at salon on time for transformation:

Spray Tan Angel: Hi Crazii, why don’t you hop into the shower and I’ll see you when you’re done.
Me: Sure…
(Ummm… water not getting warm, do you think you’re supposed to shower in artic temperature water, maybe it opens the pores)
Me: eek, wow, eish this is cold, right, you can do it, go!
STA: Crazii, you okay in there?
Me: Fine, just exfoliating (and freezing my ass off, WTF, why am I doing this again… right, jail sentence)
STA: Crazii, you done?
Me: (In voice 30 decibels higher than normal) Yes, on, grrrr, my, grrrr, way, grrr, out.
STA: Crazii, what on earth, why are you so cold?
Me: Shower… has… no…warm…tap…thought…it…was…all…part…of…magic…transformation.
STA: Crazii, it’s a mixer, left is warm, right is cold.
Me: Right…

Anyway, shower episode out of the way, magic transformation begins:

STA: So, what function are you going to?
Me: Function, no function, beach.
STA: You’re going to the beach?
Me: Yes…
STA: So why are you getting a spray on tan when you’re going to the place that will give you one naturally.
Me: Ah, you see, I have a theory. If I go to the beach tanned, I don’t blind anybody. While I’m saving the world from future blindness I’m getting a real tan under my fake tan. So when I get home and shower off fake tan, I have real tan left.
STA: Crazii, you do realize that you’re a night walker, night walkers don’t tan.
Me: I’m stripping you of you Spray Tan Angel status… pfft Thunder stealer!

Needless to say, I am back to night walker status with only a few hundred million more chocolate sprinkles! But still desperately set on hitting the sand again!

THE CRAZIINESS OF SUMMER!

Crisis Peeps, it’s Friday! Thank goodness! It’s only taken 5 days of crazy-mind-numbingly-tiring-work-hogwash to get here! And it’s summer! There is sun, there is wind and there are pasty white people everywhere! I think I even saw at least 3 wife beaters on my way to work today. Yes Peeps, burning to a crisp season is upon us and I intend to embrace it with 110% enthusiasm and sun cream!

My enthusiasm has reached such a fever pitch, that Thunder is even starting to get concerned. I am a winter baby. I love scarves, hats, coats and all things furry. I also only have 2 shades of skin colour, pale and a darker shade of pale. So when “OMG, look, the sun, let’s go to the beach” escapes my mouth, Thunder looks at me with such shock and concern that I’m pretty sure she’s ready to hit me over the head with a baseball bat and transport me to the trauma unit immediately for a frontal lobotomy!

Me: Dude, it’s gonna be hot this whole week, let’s go to the beach on Sat.
Thunder: Who are you and what have you done with Crazii?
Me: What are you talking about, I love the beach.
Thunder: Seriously, who are you and what have you done with her?
Me: What are you talking about?
Thunder: Sweetie, don’t you remember, you hate the beach.
Me: Pfft, NO I DO NOT! Who hates the beach?
Thunder: Crazii, you do!
Me: No Thunder, I don’t hate the beach, I hate sand.
Thunder: *Thwack*

Happy Friday Peeps, it gonna be a great weekend!