PET HATES - PART 1

Before I even begin this post, I must give credit to Mabel for the idea and a fair amount of the structure surrounding today’s rant. Her clever large cosmic brain decided to create a virtual list of Pet Hates that could survive the test of time and make explaining to stupid people, why you’re face has screwed up into a bad Picasso painting, relatively simple. Hence the list. My list for today will consist of 10 Pet Hates that I have. This list will, without a doubt, in due course grow large and more elaborate as I can sense my irritability factor increasing exponentially in proportion with my age, my boss and stupid people. But for today, just 10.

1. Sunday drivers on every other day of the week. Seriously, I’m late for work already and now you’re taking a pre-pushing up daisies drive along my already congested work route, move!

2. Those tops that irritating little chicks girls wear that are tight at the bottom and loose elsewhere. Seriously, they make ALL woman look like tents, yes, even Kate Moss! Buy a mirror or acquire some fashion sense! (I know this is harsh and it purely comes from the fact that I can’t wear them… this is a personal reflection of my inability to like tents, tent top wearers, please do not take offence)

3. My Boss. In general, but especially when he blames me for his shoddy memory. Like it’s my job to remind you to remember the simple things like take your drivers licence when you go out driving you fool!, arg!

4. Taxi Drivers… enough said.

5. Pedestrians who think they are the Incredible Hulk. Seriously, I am in a moving piece of metal going 60kms an hour, I promise you I will win!

6. Little kick-me-rat-dogs. These little drain-cloggers always go, mincing along, to have a chat with the biggest dogs in the park. Seriously little mongrel, are you looking in the same mirror as the tent top chicks or the pedestrians… you will loose. That Alsatian could actually just sit down and you’d be but a memory. Wait, what am I saying, go ahead little rat, bark away!

7. Estate Agents. I think they all got a degree in stupidity and BS. Seriously, please do not try and convince me that the house faces north and the afternoon sun casts a warm light on the internal patio when it is blatantly obvious when the lounge looks at the mountain and the internal courtyard is dark and cold, that you are lying! I am not an idiot, unlike you!

8. My personal inability to tell someone when I don’t want to do something or don’t like something. Why am I not brave enough to just say something, fool! Put your big girl panties on Crazii and deal with it!

9. Woman with mascara that looks little caterpillars have started nesting in the eye lashes. Mirrors ladies, refer to point 2.

10. Getting into bed dirty. No matter what time of day it is, I will shower and clean myself before I get into bed. Dirty people in dirty beds freak me out. It just means the next time when you’re actually clean, you’re getting in a bed you dirtied last night! Yuk!

I’m sorry, but I’m having a seriously irritating day. Everything and everyone is getting on my nerves and I feel like I’m being pulled from pillar to post by everyone without an inch to move or breath. I promise I’ll be in a better mood tomorrow, hopefully! If you have the unfortunate chance of bumping into to me today, for your own safety, stay a good 50m away… I bite, hard!