RE-ACQUAINTANCES

Due to their apparent feelings of abandonment, Mr and Mr (I just put on about 100kgs) Sumo Wrestle have taken up their now almost forgotten residence once again. Happily ensconced on my eyelids for the duration of the day while Ghandi’s flip flop firmly resides itself in my mouth along with possibly a bergie’s lost blanket, I am unhappy to report I am severely hungover. Since the now almost forgotten memory of the painful child birthing process known as Oceans, I have embraced my new found “take a break week” with much enthusiasm. Fellow enthusiast’s include Mr Jangerbomb, Miss Pink Champagne and my personal favourite (please note the dripping with sarcasm tone here), Mrs I-promise-to-give-you-lung-cancer-before-the-age-of-30 Cancer Stick. Together, the 4 of us have re-acquainted ourselves with the life that once was before running. Bleg! It would appear we can only be in each other’s company for a few very select hours, while the sun is sleeping, 80’s music is playing and others are throwing name on the dance floor around us. Thank Heavens… anymore time spent together and we’d be pushing up a veritable daisy farm!

Needless to say, I’m going to drag my sorry ass into bed the moment the big hands hits 12 and the little one hits 5 (assuming I can still drive) and fill my head with the astounding knowledge that is the Legendary Barney Stinson. Bring on my “How I met Your Mother” marathon evening ahead!

Happy Friday all!

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

Okay Peeps, so it’s that time of the year again when we all, with the greatest intentions, make up our New Years resolutions. I have a strategy this year which I think will guarantee me a 50% success ratio (which in terms of NY’s resolutions I think is a rather high percentage). Strategy: make lots, therefore when someone asks you “How many have you kept?” and you say 12, that sounds really high. Obviously try and avoid the “How many did you make” conversation as this will give away your strategy.

So below is my list which you can all pretty much guess the 50% I’ll be keeping:

1) Stop smoking. Check. Had my last little cancer stick this morning. Good bye cruel little tobacco men, rest in peace in someone else’s lungs.

2) Start training for Oceans. Check. Ran 25kms this morning (and then had the most delicious cigarette ever). Damn you Marlboro Silver’s to hell!

3) Buy utensils for my kitchen so that I can actually use it to cook as opposed to using it as a bar.

4) Learn how to cook.

5) Learn how to say “No”. Otherwise, learn how not to sleep and generate an additional 6 arms.

6) Learn how not to sleep and generate an additional 6 arms!

7) Find a magic genie in order to raise £1500 for the London Marathon.

8) Tell all your friends you are running the London Marathon as they need to contribute to this worthy cause. (As a side note, I really am running this and really do need to raise £1500 for this Charity that I am running for (Phab Kids) so I will be creating a Just Giving Webpage where you guys can just chuck all extra cash lying around into that for such a worthy cause)

9) Find a sponsor for flight tickets to get to London Marathon.

10) Try keeping as many of the above as possible!

Happy New Year Peeps, may 2010 be a little less chaos filled and lot more fun and love filled!

WEDDING WEEKEND!

I’m off to spend quality time with The Bride and the other Bridesmaids… We’re off for a wee 'Bridal Party Retreat' for dress fittings, girlie talk, cancer sticks and what can only be described as hours of fun and laugher! Oh, did I forget to mention the champers… tee hee!

IT’S THE WEEEEKKKKEEEENNNDDD BABY!

HANGING LIKE A BAD PAINTING

Crisis I’m tired. No wait, that’s being too kind to the situation. Although being tired is part of my problem this morning, it pails in comparison to the sumo wrestlers on my eye lids, the jack hammer in my brain and my poor liver screaming it’s little heart out “Why Crazii, Why? And on a Sunday, what were you thinking!”. Now I can answer that question quite simply. I wasn’t! Thinking that is… I was however downing a number of beautiful little heaven in a glass blackcurrant bubbles and sucking oh so joyously on those little cancer sticks in a box.

I’ve decided the cigarette manufactures need to put appropriate warnings on their boxes. I am not pregnant or breastfeeding, therefore I am not concerned about the effect smoking will have on my baby. I am however young (and judging by how I feel this morning, stupid) and would like to know, that should in excess of 2 of these little suckers be consumed in one sitting, coupled with some liquid poison I will, without fail, wake up with the sensation that my mouth feels like the inside of Gandhi’s flip flop! Walking around the office trying to pull your tongue off the roof of your mouth while simultaneously trying to explain to your boss why your hair looks like you had a play date with a plug point and your make-up couldn’t have made an iota of effort in hiding last night remnants is just not a good look. Ever. On anyone. So while I try and make myself more presentable to the general human population, here’s wishing you all a good Monday. I hope it’s better than mine!