I have officially decided that when I do something wrong, or make a mistake of Michelin man size proportions I am going to blame it on my red hair. Yes, I know this is not an original idea and blonds have been doing it for centuries, but I do actually think they have something here. Think about, for eons they have perpetuated this fantasy that they are actually dumb and can therefore a) get away with making mistakes, b) get away with actually really being dumb and c) essentially have more fun because they can mess up for the fun of it and just shrug and say “blond moment”. I mean, it genius! Brunettes have always been totted as the more sensible hair group as they are essentially the ‘opposite’ of blonds. But us redheads, well we’ve never really be “intellectually grouped” so to speak; other than the ridiculous notion that we are bad tempered. I swear by the false teeth of my great grandmother than when I find that SOAB who first created that notion, I’m gonna… but I digress. I really think we should take a leaf out of the blond brigade’s teachings…
Me: Boss, I made a booboo
Boss: What kind of a booboo Crazii?
Me: An expensive Booboo Boss
Boss: How expensive Crazii?
Crazii: Give or take £200 and a villa in the South of France
Boss: OMG CRAZII, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???
Me: Well you see Boss, it’s because I’m a redhead!
Boss: Excuse me???
Me: Yes, It’s because I was born with red hair and is therefore something out of my control.
Boss: You’re telling me you lost us £200 and a villa in the South of France because you’re genetic make-up is such that you were born with a recessive gene and therefore are a redhead.
Me: YES BOSS, YOU GOT IT!
Boss: Crazii, you’re fired!
Okay, so there appears to be a slight loophole in my hair colour escape trouble theory, but I will not surrender and will continue on my quest for justice (or just find a hole to hide in very quickly before my boss gets back and has time to read his emails!)
Ciao Peeps, it’s been real!
conversations with a 2.5 year old
9 years ago